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Lech-From Where?

Psychologically Leaving Home

 

The epic statement “Lech-Lecha” “Go for yourself, from your land, your birthplace, your father’s house” tells Avraham to leave what place? The answer is from Charan not his actual birthplace of Ur Kasdim. Why is the temporary stop on the way from Ur Kasdim to Israel called his birthplace?

Abraham goes from his physical birthplace to a place called Charan, but he brings his father with him[1]. We have a tendency to bring our issues/habits from our family of origin with us when we leave home. In this case, Abraham brings his father and his father’s household’s issues with him, and his job is to decidedly leave his father’s way of living[2].

In order to fully grow up, we must make a psychological disconnection from our family of origin, which is called “differentiation”. This includes maturing and leaving home psychologically[3], and making a concerted effort to forsake the unhealthy patterns and ways of thinking from our youth.

“Go for yourself” is indeed an epic, epitomal statement. And it is correct that Gd says ‘go from your birthplace’ because Abraham is still in a physical and psychological sense in his birthplace/land/father’s house!

We must leave the bad elements of our family of origin and take the good. We must peel away the extra layers and live according to our own personality.

      [To purchase The Seven Ways and study your personality click here]

IB

  [1] See Rashi’s language, “hitrachek od m’beit avicha.” [2] See the first Midrash Rabbah on Lech-Lecha, which brings a sentence that describes Avraham’s journey as a princess leaving home and forgetting her family. [3] It is possible to physically live at home and to differentiate, though more difficult. One would need to mature and become their own person, while still living around their family of origin.